wad a fucking week.
nobody's bloggin no more.
so many pairs of eyes are lookg.
nowadays it's hard ta blog wads real.
or perhaps jus bloggin fer e sake
of creating a facade..
actg happy, faking care, dissing pple n all e holy shit.
welcome ta my world of disillusions.
some pple are realli one helluva hypocritical freaks.
weejim n a bunch of other t21/22?? guys >> we noe wad uall hav been sayg.
walls have ears n tongues wagggggg.
n here's my sweet reply ta yall:
if ya are not comfortable wif LESBIAN talk,
DEN DONT READ!
wads e prob?
dears, missya n loveya's NOTHING close ta lesbianism.
wad do YOU know abt affection, girly talk n all other thgs tt ya find disgustg.
u know as little as me.
now, im pretty impressed wif how uall can bitch in a little group in yer class abt how lesbianic we sound on our blogs n den THE NEXT MOMENT, when lala n yan steps inta yer class..yall started tokg ta them lk ya nv did tok bad abt them?
uh huh..wad is dis.
went out wif caroline n yan todae.
here's wad caroline scribbled one e
back of the cine lips order sheet:
+ [[ there was once a girl ]] +
+ [[ but she's missing now.. ]] +
+ [[ where is she.. ]] +
i wonder where u, U , u and u* have all gone.
to sheena >> here's wad ive been dying ta say ta u all dis while:
*there's lala and me trying out
all e clubbing clothes.
skimpy, revealg, short, transparent,
whatever undesirable.
and there, a msg sent ta yan:
"dun let me see u wear tt kinda clothes kaes.
il b vangry wif u." it's crystal clear.
and i thought we are friends.
*im angry wif u cos ure spendg lotsa time wif lala n yunx
n everytime we get ta spend some time alone, u ask them along. how does tt sound?
now, try and imagine how WE feel.
im so freakg tired of being subjected
ta such indirect pressure of being e cause of so much unhappiness.
so wad am i supposed ta do now?
*i cant join uall cos i feel weird n i dun fit in. im sorry if we ever made u feel tt way.
we are all girls.
n clickED pretty well.
one day when ya decide ta join us,
i welcome u wif open arms
n will treat u wif da same concern as how i treat all others dear ta me.
no less.
yan >> sure doesn feel good ta be sandwiched
right thumbed in the middle.
wadever made u thk il be angry?
am very hurt.
but i understand where ya coming from.
n i noe dis might not stop cos i noe why ya did tt.
n so be it.
ya dun have ta be sorry.
aspreers>> theres no more us.
theres jus me now.
e name says it all.
im ok.
e world works DIS way fundamentally..
e sinful gets abandoned.
nobody's ta be blamed.
e purplies remain of course.
if we survive e firestorm.
not exactly a sweetest time fer e disillusioned me.
no faith, no trust, no more energy ta prove no more.
but im still here.
a promise is a promise.
gna tk alot of grit n so be it.
tell me wad ya wna tell me.
sieve if ya want.
tis not a time fer blaming.
come wad may..im tired.
*gloat, pple.
*u dont have to change frens jus because frens change or perhaps tt's not true.
NOW, im yet another person
who says one thing in e day time
n type an entirely different story at night.
>> is it pleasing?
wads wif showing such intense affection on e blog
when u claimed ta me u dint..
im disappointed.
opinions do change tt fast.
there i said it.
all the names are out.
im outta dis childish game.
period.
no more lies, no more mind games.
it's pointless ta carry on.
now i suspect dis entry is gna offend
ONE WHOLE TRUCKLOAD of pple.
dis is my blog.
am presently very tired abt ALL THESE RUBBISH.
n perhaps more's coming up?
bang me if ya want.
not feelg too proud abt wad ive done.
but it HAS TO come out.
in dis form, wad else?
dissemblg's e worst way out.
i chose e opposite.
there's nutg worse tt i dun already know abt myself.
so come on, shoot yer vengeance at me
but i despise annonymous dishings.
at least be brave, n leave yer name.
wudnt want u leavg hostilities on MY blog
n den smiling at me in skl.
have had enough of that.
sneakiness's an atrocity.
left.
Friday, November 07, 2003 @ 11:16:00 PM
why lie.
ya dint have to.
Thursday, November 06, 2003 @ 1:14:00 AM
+ [[who painted the moon black x( ]] +
skl was CRAP todae.
wnt ta skl fer a mere 2 hr pw block
nw how lame is tt.
went jiamx's hse aft tt
ta visit e little sickly girl.
poor jiamx was bed-ridden,
fever, flu, cough, sore throat, headache.
a person cant realli feel any worse den dis.
so i decided ta play nurse on her hahahs.
gd job done.
all i did was help her reply all her msgs
-winks at jose- x) (THAT WAS ME)
tv-ed e rest of e dae away
n danny happily joined in x)
my god im saturated wif mtv n wadever not.
cind came in da eveng.
her presence was totally redundant!
(yay i got back at u xP)
took portions of MY almond chocs n pork floss.
n sat there laughg away
when danny sat e skirt i left on e couch!!!
so i cudnt wear it baq aikes!
went hme in jiamx's clothes instead
ALL DANNY"S FAULT. >(
i dont hear u callg ta me.
but i heard u callg...........
not exactly wad i thot wud affect me.
ive ono idea wads gg on anymore.
only mild sadness though~
e nonchalent attitude,
protection fr heartbrks tt i alws knew was right.
>> its not enuff ta cry.
+ [[ wad do u see --- when u see me. ]]+
i wonder.
cos ive no faith in u* ~
ta "bastard's" FRENS >> thot uall are his frens? if i can see fr far, i hpe uall can at least tell tt he's not being too swell abt dis. plus, it's an old joke already. nuff said.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003 @ 12:55:00 AM
nw e memories keep flooding back.
*everytime i fall in love
i fall fer someone new
but stil i alws find myself
back in love wif u..
truth forever
on the scaffold,
wrong forever
on the throne.
yet the scaffold
sways the future,
and behind
the dim unknown,
standeth God
within the shadow,
keeping watch,
above His own.
| verse of the day
| beautiful, i just want you to know, you are my favourite girls
not what my hands have done
can save my guilty soul
not what my toiling flesh has borne
can make my spirit whole
not what i feel or do
can give me peace with God
not all my prayers & sighs & tears
can bear my awful load
Your work alone, O Christ
can ease this weight of sin
Your blood alone, O Lamb of God
can give me peace within
Your love to me, O God
not mine, O Lord, to thee
can rid me of this dark unrest
& set my spirit free
Your grace alone, O God
to me can pardon speak
Your power alone, O Son of God
can this sore bondage break
no other work, save thine
no other blood will do
no strength, save that which is divine
can bear me safely through
i bless the Christ of God
i rest on love divine & with unfaltering lip & heart
i call this Saviour mine
His cross dispels each doubt
i bury in His tomb
each thought of unbelief & fear
each lingering shade of gloom
i praise the God of grace
i trust His truth & might
He calls me His, i call Him mine
my God, my joy, me light
'tis He who saveth me
& freely pardon gives
i love because He loveth me
i live because He lives (:
