if only you knew i was here wishing that i could be your tear
i went school today! it's called first day of school (: man. i cant even remember where is block 53. and geri had to OUR LAST YEAR THE IS BUILDING!? right.
and i have friends in my IS class!! FOUR. eh no, minus me it's THREE. yay yay. if not i can just sit beside the teacher's table and be a LONER. haha
thanks cind thanks boss (:
quick one that's all
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 @ 2:37:00 AM
i've got something to confess well it got discovered anyway
im really thankful for people like weiling who arrives in FIVE minutes after i msg her.
some days you just have to bahhh and cry like a baby. and then skip tuition altogether.
i thought about leaving, but i couldn't even get outta bed hitching, but i couldn't get a ride outta town now anyone who really wanted me to be down come 'round
i thought about singing, but i couldn't remember all of the words breaking, but i couldn't get the pieces apart laughing, never knowing what the joke was about now i'm down and i wonder how i never got the Burn and if i'm ever gonna learn how lonely people make a life one. strain. at. a. time.
forgot about everything and everyone i needed before trying to get a handle on a reason to shine picking up the pieces that are falling behind takes time
my dear girls now you know why tom i won't be able to get up and get out to reach town by two because HERE I AM. imma gonna sleep now i swear.
Sunday, May 22, 2005 @ 11:05:00 PM
those who have ears let them hear
my life's completely changed. three hundred and sixty degrees. as of saturday. and i didn't even know it. and i didn't even feel the urgency. i mean i know it's coming but the impression is that maybe the "soon" means one or two hundred years later when i wouldn't be around anymore but no, twenty odd years is a big shock. now im trembling in fear. and now i know what's the meaning of "be fearful and serve".
very fearful indeed.
waiting watchfully - for the Pope to form a holy roman empire with the european union so the 8th horn comes true - a statue to be put in the temple in jerusalem (nightmare begins) - the 666 chip to be invented (actually the scary thing is that it's already invented. MONDEX it is.) - two witnesses to appear. - population to explode out of hand - the East to raise a 200 million strong army. no you wouldn't understand.
now i know why those people (those whom everybody thinks are crazy and overdoing it) SO fervently try and try to save their loved ones. because it's LOVED ONES.. and i was still thinking nevermind, let my friends play, when we all grow up, they'll know.
i don't want to be cool already i don't care about looks already i don't care about reputation already i don't care if i face opposition already i won't avoid mentioning God to my friends already i won't have trouble loving my sister already i don't have trouble loving our people more than ij people already i don't hate guys already i don't want to spend a portion of my money on clothes already and i already feel "on earth but not of the earth".. even in crowded public places
like going through the refiner's oil i truly grasp why status, wealth, health, possessions are temporal. always thought yes, they're temporal, but still rather important! sorry, when you face the great tribulation, they're not important at all.
and all the times when i was clubbing, craving to dance, shopping for nice clothes, worrying whether i'll have new clothes for the new semester, cursing guys, mistreating my sister, never mentioning the Gospel to my friends because they're cool people so they won't buy this shit and they're gonna to yeee why you so holy molly but NOOOOO i already don't have time to care about all these because preparation starts NOW and i work, work, work and make good use of myself to work.
give me time. i want more time. i want more time. i want more time.
truth forever
on the scaffold,
wrong forever
on the throne.
yet the scaffold
sways the future,
and behind
the dim unknown,
standeth God
within the shadow,
keeping watch,
above His own.
| verse of the day
| beautiful, i just want you to know, you are my favourite girls
not what my hands have done
can save my guilty soul
not what my toiling flesh has borne
can make my spirit whole
not what i feel or do
can give me peace with God
not all my prayers & sighs & tears
can bear my awful load
Your work alone, O Christ
can ease this weight of sin
Your blood alone, O Lamb of God
can give me peace within
Your love to me, O God
not mine, O Lord, to thee
can rid me of this dark unrest
& set my spirit free
Your grace alone, O God
to me can pardon speak
Your power alone, O Son of God
can this sore bondage break
no other work, save thine
no other blood will do
no strength, save that which is divine
can bear me safely through
i bless the Christ of God
i rest on love divine & with unfaltering lip & heart
i call this Saviour mine
His cross dispels each doubt
i bury in His tomb
each thought of unbelief & fear
each lingering shade of gloom
i praise the God of grace
i trust His truth & might
He calls me His, i call Him mine
my God, my joy, me light
'tis He who saveth me
& freely pardon gives
i love because He loveth me
i live because He lives (:
